There are massive online collections of resources for people with apartments in Phoenix, but it’s easy to gloss over one of the most important challenges– how do you handle a difficult neighbor? Annoying neighbors can make for great characters in sitcoms, but nobody wants to deal with that in real life. Ongoing relationship problems with your fellow residents can have a horrible impact on your home life, so it’s best to nip problems in the bud. Here are some of the best ways to address a difficult neighbor in your Phoenix apartment.
“Know the Enemy and Know Yourself” – Sun Tzu
Calling a difficult neighbor, the enemy may be a bit extreme, but this point is still valid. Before you can solve a problem, it’s important to understand the real source. What is it about your neighbor that bothers you, and what is it about yourself that allows you to be so bothered by this neighbor. Sometimes just understanding the problem can help you make peace with it, and it can certainly help you address it.
If you’re having problems with your neighbor, the chances are good that they’ll boil down to one of the following:
Your neighbor is too messy. They’re not respecting common areas throughout the apartment, and it’s affecting your ability to enjoy those spaces. Maybe they leave smelly trash outside of their door, or they don’t pick up after themselves in the weight room.
They’re too loud. This is one of the biggest causes of neighbor problems in an apartment. You’re in the same building, after all, and there may only be one wall separating your bedroom from whatever it is they’re doing all night. Late parties, loud fights, or excessive volume from the TV all might affect your ability to enjoy some peace and quiet.
They don’t take care of their pets. If your apartment allows pets, this might come into play. Failure to pick up after their pet or leaving a loud dog to bark for hours on end can become an annoyance in a hurry.
You just don’t get along. In some cases, you might end up with a neighbor who’s a little bit too talkative, or seems overly withdrawn. Maybe they drink too much, and it affects their social skills, or perhaps the two of you just don’t see eye to eye.
Your neighbor lacks boundaries. If your neighbor is always double parking or taking your spot, it’s only natural to become annoyed. The same can be said if they knock on your door at all hours of the night or get a little bit too comfortable using your things.
If you can’t put your neighbor problems into one of the categories above, try to put words to what it is that really bothers you about that person. That will make it so much easier to move on and look for potential solutions. Once you’re able to explain what’s troubling you rationally, it’s time to move on to the next steps and start working toward a resolution.
Get to Know Each Other
If you’ve never talked to this person before, that would be an excellent place to start. Ideally, you can have a friendly conversation with them to establish a relationship before you bring up the problem. If you can get a good rapport going, it will be easier to address the thing that’s bothering you, and they’ll be more likely to hear you out with a positive attitude. If you can’t find a good opportunity to create small talk with this person, though, just approach the issue as calmly, politely, and directly as you can without making it sound like an accusation.
Once you’re able to start a good conversation with your neighbor, you’ll have an opportunity to bring up your problem without sounding too harsh. You can say something like, “by the way, there’s something else I wanted to ask you about now that we’re talking.” That will help keep things light and positive, and reduces the risk that either one of you walks away angry. Be as open as possible, and listen to their side without trying to turn it into an argument.
Be Proactive
Even if you can’t find a way to get to know your neighbor first, it’s a good idea to talk to them about your issue before it gets out of hand. Some problems will go away on their own, but most just get bigger and bigger over time. Don’t take the risk– try to bring up what’s bothering you as soon as you can. If you can have a calm conversation, there’s a good chance that your issue will be resolved with minimal stress. Then you can both get on with your lives.
Keep Records
If your initial conversation goes poorly, or if the problem persists, it’s time to start documenting the issue. If you’re close enough with other people in the apartment complex, this might be a good time to ask them if they’ve noticed the same issue. If they have, get their take on things and add that to your notes. From there, keep track of how and when the problem occurs.
Ideally, you’ll get to this stage and start to realize that the problem isn’t as big as you thought. You might decide that it’s easier to live with that thing that’s been bothering you than it is to make a big case out of it. If that’s not the case, you could try going back to your neighbor with more evidence. Show them your list of all the times the issue has occurred, and include photos if relevant. If that doesn’t convince them to change their ways, it may be time to escalate to a third party.
Get Someone Else Involved
There are a few different options here, and we recommend trying these steps in order unless the situation is severe enough to require faster escalation:
Mediator – If the two of you have a mutual friend in the apartment building, it might help to sit down as a group. Don’t make this an ambush, but look for a time when the three of you can have a quick conversation. Just having a third party there might help everyone come to an agreement about what’s acceptable.
Landlord – If you just can’t get through to your neighbor, you may want to take things up with your landlord or the apartment complex. This is where it will really come in handy to have records of all the times this neighbor has caused problems for you. If you can show that it’s an ongoing situation, and you’ve already made efforts to resolve it on your own, it will show you’re serious.
Authorities – If the problem is out of control (i.e. your neighbor is committing crimes, or you feel unsafe) you may have to take things to a legal body like the police. Hopefully, this is the last resort.
Apartments in Phoenix AZ
If you can’t enjoy your living situation because of a bad neighbor, moving to different Phoenix apartments may be the solution. Contact Heers Management to see our modern communities and meet the people who live there.