Living with friends can seem like a great idea at first but it may not necessarily work out the way you imagine. While living in the ASU dorms may have somewhat prepared you to live with others, living with a roommate in your own apartment is not the same thing. There are additional factors that come into play that could easily damage a friendship if not handled correctly.
Money Complicates Relationships
While you and your best friend may have a wonderful relationship, living together can add financial strain to the dynamic, especially if you don’t view or handle money the same way. In a roommate situation, both parties have to be financially responsible. If one person slacks, it could mean getting kicked out, no longer living together and possibly the end of your friendship.
When you move into a Phoenix apartment with someone, you’re entering a business decision with that person. There’s a contract involved as far as paying rent together, and you also have to make decisions about shared purchases for your apartment. You may have different ideas about how much you should spend on things like furniture and other items for common areas. It’s extremely difficult to have financial disagreements with someone without letting it affect you personally.
More Time Together, More Likely to Fight
Living together means seeing more of each other as well as seeing your best friend in a new light. While before you may have spent huge amounts of time together it will not equate to living with each other. Once you’re sharing the same space for long periodsof time, you’ll see more of your best friend’s quirks and bad habits, which may lead to arguments.
Even when you have a lot of love for someone, it’s hard to be around them for long periods every day. It can be fun at first, being with your best friend all the time, but the novelty normally wears off quickly, and overexposure can put a strain on your relationship
It’s Harder to Hold a Friend Accountable
When it comes to paying rent, bills or simply keeping up with apartment responsibilities, it can be a lot harder to hold your best friend accountable to do their fair share. It’s normal to have a soft spot for a person that you hold dear but it could also be bad for your friendship. If you find yourself cutting them slack with chores or paying their share of expenses, you could end up resenting them for making life more stressful. Make sure to tell your landlord you’re moving out as well as your roommates to avoid any issues in the future.
If you still decide to move in with your best friend, it might be helpful to sit down right at the beginning and write up an unbreakable set of house rules. It may feel silly to do this, but there’s a good chance it will come in handy later. Think about the division of chores, who will put the bills in their name, how you’ll handle sharing a fridge, and how you’ll decorate (and clean) common areas. Set boundaries by discussing quiet hours and what you’ll share, then write everything down and sign it.
It’s Harder to Appreciate Someone That’s Always There
Part of your friendship is that you appreciate your best friend, but it’s harder to appreciate someone that’s always around. It’s more likely you’ll find the person annoying because you see him or her so often.
Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Even if you don’t start getting into fights from overexposure to each other, you’ll start to take things for granted that you used to love.
Living with Your Best Friend Will Limit Your Social Circle
Having your friend in the apartment right there with you can make it tempting to just stay in more often, making it easier to avoid meeting new people.
Even if you do go out, you might start finding yourselves heading to a local place together without rounding up the whole squad. It’s important to maintain your own social circles and keep doing the things that make you unique.
It Will Be Harder to Live with Others
At one point or another, you’re almost certainly going to have to move out and live with another roommate. Living with your best friend prior to having an adult roommate can make it harder to adjust to typical roommate boundaries.
You can be curt or sarcastic with your best friend because there’s an understanding that you care about each other. Your best friend might be able to laugh things off as a joke, but someone you don’t know as well could be completely offended.
Living with Your Best Friend May Keep You from Growing Up
A best friend can sometimes serve as a crutch that prevents you from growing up and facing your own fears as an adult. While in some situations that’s great, it can be harmful if your best friend is paying for your share of the bills, helping you with chores or doing other things for you that you should be handled as the mature adult that you should be becoming.
Just as it can strain the relationship when your best friend isn’t pulling their weight, they may start to resent you if they’re always bailing you out. It’s easy to fall into bad habits at first when you’re just excited to be together and don’t mind doing a lot of favors for one another. Once you get out of that honeymoon phase, it may already be too late. The two of you might have set expectations that can’t be undone, which will eventually lead to drama.
It Will Make Working from Home Distracting
Times are changing and employers allow you to work from home now. Some even require you to do so during bad weather or to reduce office expenses. Having your best friend as your roommate means you are more likely to get distracted while you try to get work done at home.
All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy, but all play and no work can be bad for your career. This same concept applies to things like going to the gym and working on other aspects of your personal development. It’s hard to turn your best friend down when they want to have a drink and watch a movie, but doing that every day might stop you from growing as a person.
It Can Limit Your Living Options
If you’re adamant on living with your best friend, you have to take their financial options into consideration, which could limit your living options. If he or she makes significantly less than you, you could end up somewhere cheaper than you want.
You Could End Up with a Sleepover Feeling
The feeling of being with your friend is associated with fun, parties and maybe a few irresponsible college memories, making it easy to slip back into your younger self during a time when you’re supposed to be maturing. This is actually a big sign it’s time to move out of your parent’s place.
For more living advice, check out the Heers Management blog where you can find tips on everything from how to survive a Phoenix summer to how to deal with roommates.
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